结束；开始

2011结束了，太快了。感觉刚开始我的学院生涯不久而已，两年就这么过去了。考SPM的日子、当兵的日子、开学的日子，好像在一眨眼的瞬间就随着岁月走远了。

感慨的事，发现妹妹在不知不觉中，长大了。很感触、很不舍。
妹妹还小的时候吖，时常都被我欺负，却不曾离开过我的身边，还是像个屁屁虫似的跟在我身后。一起玩耍、一起被骂、一起看戏到天明，童年里的回忆都少不了她。
慢慢的，我长大了。开始叛逆了。每次被爸爸骂的时候，妹妹都会为我难过，甚至为了替我说话而顶撞爸爸。我失恋时，也是妹妹听我说话到天亮。
慢慢的，我毕业了，当兵、上大学，离开了家。和妹妹相处的时间变得好少好少。奇怪的事我们的感情却变得更亲密，无话不聊，也更有默契了。每每回家的时候都习惯看到妹妹在我身边打转，想找人说话时转过身妹妹就在身边了。我害怕一个人睡，所以在家每一个晚上都有妹妹陪着我睡着；我喜欢唱歌，也喜欢海贼王，每次回家都会和妹妹唱歌褒戏。妹妹知道我，每一个开心和伤心的秘密...

妹妹毕业了。
她离开了家，出去工作了。
粘我的妹妹不在家了。
回到家，感觉少了些什么的。少了一把声音、少了一双耳朵、少了一份关心。

从前妹妹在身边的时候，我总以为她会一直一直的在我身边，什么都不会改变。
我以为长大的只有我一个，却从未真正的去体验和看见妹妹也在成长。所以她的长大，对我来说，措手不及。
好后悔，后悔从前都不愿挨着瞌睡陪她看完成套海贼王；后悔从前不愿花多些时间去和她聊天。
好遗憾，好难过。
妹妹在外边生活，受到了委屈我只能干伤心，却什么也不能为她做。心疼，身边的人却一再提醒我该放手，让妹妹去吃苦去成长...遗憾自己怎么不早出世个几年，那么，就有能力让妹妹不用受委屈...

跟在身后追着我的脚步、爱我的妹妹，现在一个人在我到不了的地方生活。能够感受她的寂寞，能够体会她的无助，没有用，我没有办法带在她身旁。妹妹自小就粘家，不曾离开家里生活...

只能希望说，妹妹能够比我想象中更坚强、更独立、更成熟。妹妹，要加油。世界什么都会改变，可是我们的感情，就算用尽力气我也不会让它改变。我会支持你做的每一个决定，就像当初你支持我一样，我永远都会在你身边。

My dear

Have been waiting for you all day long. And what I've get is you sorry.

What to do for my disappointment? Blame you? I'm not doing that anymore.

Being your perfect woman is a tiring work.

I wish for your pampering your accompany too. I wish that you would love me like others do. May I request and then being classified as a selfish girlfriend?

You would do your own way.

I need space for myself from now on. <3

I deeply doubt about our friendship. Because of your selfishness and everything you do is always think about yourself. When you need help you come over and when you don't you walk away. What kind of friend are you?!

Moody things need to be announced XD

Mood was brought down by a steupid lecturer.
He said Im a lousy designer that always look for shortcut, just because of I accidentally forgot to replace back those blu tack that pasted behind my artwork with masking tape. I was so damn unhappy after that.

Things aren't going right after that.

I need some space.

And I will soon give back YOUR space. We will leave :) And you couldn't even do something childish and stupid behind me.

I'm sorry my dear

Last Thursday we went to play basketball. But since that my skill is sucks, I just sat there and watch them played. Anyway that was boring and so I went to CITC get some researches. I kept waiting and get frustrated soon. 

After a long time, he finally came and I was really on my temper. I walked fast and left him behind. I thought he was with friends.

He called. He said he was fell into a drain.

My brain was like empty and all I wanted to do is get to him as soon as possible. I saw him sat beside the road and with his left leg hurt. Tears burst but I didn't let 'em out. Even tough I was so worried, scared and felt sorry.

I stayed calm, and tried some basic first aid to avoid his scars become worst.  Saw he was in hurt, my heart broke. 

Luckily, TARC never lack of kind people, thanks for any for them who stopped and helped us especially the bus driver who had went to First Aid and get me the medicine box somemore report to the school. Besides, the student who was willing to stop by and drove him back hostel. Thousands thanks to you guys.

After all we managed to be left alone. And I cried. I said sorry. 

I shouldn't left him behind and made him hurt. 

I'm not a good girl friend. I can't even take good care of him.

He forgave me. I know he will. He is just so loving me.

I love you.

Every Day is a New Day

The new semester is started and soon we get the assignments.

However I feel that somethings aren't the same this semester.

Passion? Idea?

I'm expecting something great for myself this time. Remind and scold me if I didn't make it, k?

Ganbateh Angela ❤

Contented with your love

I'd threw everything of my life behind, and just stay with you.

The Merdeka night on Genting Highlands; amd the next day together with JunHong and his girlfriend too.

And the happinesses within these 24-hour make me miss you even more after your leaving.

In the time we spent together, we share the dreams, share the interests, the idea, the happiness and the sadness, with no difficult at all like we born to be that match. :)

I do really really surprised and adored when you gave me the roses. The tears prove my appreciation to your love. I know you love me, always. And you do every of your best to make me smile. Besides love you more and more, I've no idea of how to repay back. I got nothing. But I'll try to be your perfect one in life.

We had our lunch and dinner together. Even though they were not expensive not luxury and we need to consider the price before order, it still satisfied me, as you were there beside me. We share our dishes and chit-chat, that's the simple happiness I ever wanted. And you gave me, with your greatest effort, I saw it, and I appreciate it.

There are such great obstacles in front of us. They try to break us up. They try to fade us up.

I'd think of give up, as I'm afraid that we'll never make it through. But that night you hold my hands and said, "Every of it worth for our fight, because as we've gone through the future that we always dream for will be there for us." You give me confidence said that you'll never leave me no matter what happen. You strengthen my faith. The dreams that we always dream for, the home, the work, the car, the pets, the life...Everything. They'll come true they'll be realised. I believe in you.

People have so many that we are longing for. But they didn't appreciate it. We could be better, 'cause we know, appreciation and love, will lead to happiness.

Hong, my love. I don't feel sorry to world that I love you. And I'm not afraid to tell the world I love you more that I ever could. After seeing the people, I've found my destination. With no doubt I'll be with you until the day you feel that you don't love me any more. I love you, my dear.

You've disappointed me out. Damn disappointed on you, Tan Kok Hong!

You're the worst guy I've ever meet.

You never leave a message on what you're doing what you're going and even tough you know I'll keep waiting in scare and alone, I'll stay awake in midnight just to open the door for you when you back. You know but you pretending not! You suck! You never fulfil every of your promise not this time too! You idiot! You asshole!

You make me fuck off.

Is that funny? Let me tell you now and ever, we've done!

♀Change♂

Realize that I'm not the me that I used to be when I was the freshman to here. It's sad that I know you're the one who change me, or the love does changed me.

Fall back to the past, the saddest past that I wish I could never retouch it but I did. I was too much care on my man. Lived in scare and worry everyday and still, too much care and feels of insecure. Mistrusting everyone. Maybe I was held the rope too tight and the last he still gone. I lost everything that I care the most.

Once again the scene replay.

I love you. Just too much than the beginning until I can't afford it at all. I started to hold on it and tighten, tighten and tighten. Perhaps I'm relying you on everything in my world. In simple words, I couldn't lose you.

Is that seems too hard for you to be relied? I know it.

And you started to not respond to me when I'm sad and down, not even try an effort to make me laugh. And if I want it, I've to beg it. That's so hard, for me to beg. You're starting to request for more and more and more, about my attitude, my appearance, my everything and I've tired to respond to it. You're not with any feeling anymore when I ask for leaving.

Every of it does scared me.

You'll be him again, and I'm going to be hurt once again.

Is that mean that, if I change, not to care about you, and having back my own world, will be good for both of us?

Hwai said, we are girls and we should not beg for love, but try to find the happiness by ourselves, she is right.

Sometimes I know my temper is the factor for us to fight. I'll change it for you and try not to tighten you. You should have your own life and so for me :)

Lets be happy and let the bad things go~ Yet I'm still loving you❤

你...想我吗?

好想知道，
你那一晚对流星许下的是什么愿望?

好想知道，
你说我们象这首歌一样，是什么意思?

好想知道，
你背着我头也不回的离开那一刻，心里想的是什么?

好想知道，
再看见我的你，没感情了吗?

好想知道，
当你看见我为你付出得那么多，会心疼吗?

还想知道，
你
还会不会偶尔担心，
我
过得好不好…?

肤浅の人

我知道我在别人的眼中，是个很强势的女朋友。至少他的朋友是这么说。

那一晚，我哭了。

他走过来抱着我，安慰我。

那一晚，我明白了，也看开了。

我不是强势，他也不是软弱。这，是一种尊敬。
他尊敬我的每一个决定，而且每当他做不出决定的时候，他都会问我的意见。
因为有尊敬，所以我们才能在一起。
因为我们互相了解，才不会有误会。
他懂，我不是霸道。
我懂，他不是软弱。

我们也会争吵，
因为两个人一定会有两个不同的性格和想法。
我们为了让对方明白，所以争吵。
但是我们不为了误会和妒忌而伤害感情。

当然很多东西是旁人看不到的。
当我也会有询问他决定的时候，他们都没看到，或者他们主观地不看到。

因为他尊敬我。
因为我珍惜他。

很多肤浅的人看表面，就自以为是的下定论。
无所谓。

他说，他懂我，就够了 :)

p/s: Sometimes you just too straight forwards and too subjective when you are dealing with things, no matter friendship or love. You judge based on what you think. I hope that one day you will realise that you're wrong and that's why things aren't going right with you. And hope that day won't be too late for you to regret.

❤七月❤

最喜欢的七月，到了，不知不觉的，到了。